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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23536666">Bill</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddiegays/pseuds/reddiegays'>reddiegays</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Richie Tozier, Celebrity Crush, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Jealous Richie Tozier, M/M, Married Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Married Life, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, and richie Does Not Like It, just because I don't get it doesn't mean I can't make a fic, no offence eddie but can't relate, yes. eddie has a crush on bill hader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:41:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23536666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddiegays/pseuds/reddiegays</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie has a crush on a certain actor which begins to annoy his husband.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>198</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had started innocently enough. They’d been curled up on the sofa together, sharing takeout whilst Saturday Night Live played on their TV in the background. In Richie’s opinion, it was the pinnacle of comedy and he’d been trying to get into it for years. Eddie, being the supportive and loving husband he was, put up with it. He may not like comedy but he actually found Richie very fucking funny. As well as a certain cast member on the show he hadn’t really been paying attention to caught his eye. Richie may have been lying in his lap, having his hair played with, but he still noticed the way Eddie seemed to laugh at one actor more than the others. He thought nothing of it at first, allowing Eddie to indulge his little Stefon obsession.</p><p>Then Richie began noticing a pattern. The same actor seemed to pop up in every single film they seemed to watch. Superbad, Paul, Inside Out (although he claimed it was for Ben and Bev's little girl), The To-Do List, Adventureland even fucking <em>Star Wars</em>, Richie had to put up with his husband’s doe-eyed adoration and adorable little giggles directed at the TV screen. Richie wasn’t jealous. Not at all. If Eddie wanted to drool over some actor, that was up to him. In fact, Richie was all the more determined to join the cast of SNL, so he could meet his rival face to face. The papers would have a field day if he got into a fist fight with Bill Hader.</p><p>And then HBO’s Barry was released.</p><p>It fast became Eddie’s favourite show and he was practically fucking <em>feral</em> after watching it, hauling Richie to the bedroom without so much as a ‘did you like the episode, dear?’ What did he care, right? He was the one reaping all the benefits of Eddie’s little obsession. But he did care and he finally found the balls to talk to Eddie about it. What he had meant to say was, ‘honey, I love and respect you dearly but your horniness for Bill Hader is making me feel insecure. Let’s talk about this like a grown up married couple should.’ Only, what came out was:</p><p>“Eds, are you going to leave me for a straight guy?”</p><p>Naturally, Eddie looked at him as if he was going mad. Why Richie had chosen to bring this up before they were about to go to sleep, he didn’t know. Maybe he was going mad.</p><p>“What are you talking about?”</p><p>“You’ve got a crush on that guy…” he gestured vaguely at the tiny TV in their bedroom, fiddling with the duvet nervously, “are you gonna leave me?”</p><p>“You really think I’d be stupid enough to fall for a comedian the second time?” Eddie said with a smirk, snuggling up to Richie and resting his head on his chest, “no, I’m not going to leave you.”</p><p>“Yeah, you say that…”</p><p>“Richie, he’s just some actor I really like that’s all,” Eddie ran his hands over Richie’s t-shirt playfully, “I like funny guys, okay? That’s why I married you.”</p><p>Richie scoffed, folding his arms childishly, “please. He’s nothing like me.”</p><p>“You’re funnier,” Eddie agreed, wrapping his arms tightly around his dumb husband, the love of his life. Richie seemed to relax slightly at those words so Eddie continued, punctuating each description with a kiss to his cheek, “you’re cuter, you’re sweeter, your eyes are nicer, you’re everything to me. It’s just a dumb fixation. I’m sure there’s plenty of guys out there you fancy.”</p><p>“You, and only you, my little spaghetti dinner,” Richie said, only a little bit pleased with himself. Eddie rolled his eyes, leaning over to switch off the lamp and wriggle under the covers.</p><p>“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Richie,” Eddie yawned, smiling softly as he felt Richie slide up against him, pulling him close to his body, “why would I go out for a hamburger when I’ve got steak at home?”</p><p>“Some people prefer hamburgers,” Richie pondered but he knew Eddie had a point. He loved him and that was that. There was never going to be anyone else for either of them. Richie kissed his husband goodnight, pausing to add, “can I at least join SNL to punch him once? Assert my manliness?”</p><p>“No.”</p>
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